Insisting on something that never works is like putting on shoes that don’t fit: It hurts, creates bubbles, and sometimes it even bleeds.
Then you realize that it is better to be barefoot: Free your heart while you live, free your feet while they grow. Because as we grow, our number changes. What you insisted in using, is not good anymore. Sometimes in life you need to forget what you want, so you can start to understand what is best for you.
The internet is a funny place to look for precise information. The other day I was trying to find a good explanation for a simple and universal truth:
Girls who sleep around are sluts. Guys who sleep around are studs.
I found a lot about it on the internet, but nothing was completely right. We all know as a matter of fact that the sentence above is totally true. But I must admit that accepting the idea that the explanation is simply a double standard per se makes me uncomfortable. Something that I so deeply know to be true cannot be so just because “we judge girls differently…”.
So, there I went to see if Google could shed some light on the subject. I found a few interesting posts: This one goes on telling girls to be more difficult. This one gets closer to the answer explaining how guys and girls interact over time. This one also touches the point somehow. This research shows that men and women treat casual sex in completely different ways. But none of them really explains why we should judge guys and girls using different standards. None of them explains that this is not simply “imposed by a misogynist society” as the fat ugly girls with hairy armpits feminists like to say.
So, here I take the quest to finally explain, once and for all, why girls who sleep around are simply easy and don’t respect themselves, while guys who manage to sleep around are (usually) true champions that should be proud of themselves. I come back to the “usually” bit at the end of the post.
In the end, the whole explanation boils down to a simple fact: Guys offer sex to almost anything, while girls are more picky. You can be proud of climbing the Everest, but you cannot be proud of ordering a pizza.
Fact #1: Guys lower their standards a lot to have sex (think about one-night stands)
If the creature has a hole in it, guys will have sex with it. Notice how deep this is: It is not like “she is sexy enough”, or “there is at least some chemistry”, or “she is kinda cute”, or “her personality is passable”, or “at least she is funny”, and definitely not “she is the best one in the club”. There is no other hurdle apart from “she has a vagina and looks easy!”.
So, don’t you ever be flattered when a guy offers you a one-night stand. Think about your ugliest female friend. Now understand this: If she was offering him easy sex, this guy would very likely have sex even with this ugly girl. The fact that girls cannot even believe this, and the fact that some girls even feel flattered by the one night stand proposal from a guy is just another proof that girls and guys are completely different.
If it is not because they feel accomplished, then it must be because they enjoy random penises…
The fact that guys offer sex to any ugly/undesirable girl implies that there is really no merit for a girl in simply having sex with a guy. All it takes from any girl is to spread her legs. And any girl can do exactly the same, with exactly the same guy you just slept with. Girls a lot uglier than you can definitely do the same guy that you did, as long as these uglier girls are easy enough. Girls who are not ugly and accept one night stands are in fact lowering themselves to the level of these other really ugly girls. They show no respect for themselves. The problem is not the casual sex thing: It is how much the other person values you that makes you cheap.
Ugly girls have no alternative so they (may) need to accept the one-night stands. But what if a girl is actually cute? Well, we already know that girls cannot be proud of having sex with a bunch of guys. So, the only possible explanation is that these girls really enjoy penises of several random guys. Why is this “bad” you might ask? Because people don’t change. If the girl likes random penises, she will always like random penises.
The term “slut” simply defines a type of girl who has low value for the guys. Firs of all, these girls cannot be really happy with a single guy. One penis is never enough for them. They may want a relationship on one hand, but they will always want random guys. These girls can never be completely fulfilled by only one guy. Secondly, just as obtaining sex from a guy is nothing close to an achievement, obtaining sex from a slut is just as meaningless. So really, there is nothing that a slut can offer to any guy. This is why guys do not give any value to a slut.
Fact #2: Girls raise their standards to have sex (especially one-night stands)
In diametrical opposition, obtaining sex from a girl actually puts the guy above the others. While guys offer quick sex to almost any vagina-bearing creature, girls are in fact the opposite! In order for them to offer quick sex, they are picky. They choose, they select who they want. And here comes the core of the explanation: If the guy is chosen among several others, then he has a reason to feel special. The girl valued this guy more than she valued the other guys. At the very minimum this was the best among the guys who approached her in the club on that night. It doesn’t matter if the girl only chose him for a one-night stand, or anything. She still gave him something to be proud of. She still gave him something that she would not give to every guy.
So, the reason why guys who sleep around are studs is because it means that the girls find this guy more valuable than the other guys. The keyword is valuable because this is exactly the difference between what casual sex means for girls and guys. Girls have sex with guys who they find “valuable”, “attractive”, “better than the others”, etc. Guys have sex with girls that… have vaginas! So, guys who slept with several girls only did that because they could. Girls who sleep with several guys only do that because they do want random penises.
Guys and girls both know what sex means to each other. Both know that any girl hanging out in a club will receive several sex offers. So, both know that the girls choose the best guy among several others for sex. Everyone knows that the chosen guy is somehow special for this girl. This is simply due to the fact that this guy was chosen among a large pool of “candidates”.
What does it mean then? It means that a girl’s decision of having sex with a guy is the single most meaningful way to express how much she appreciates him. It is the single most meaningful way to express how much this guy is special to her. It is potentially the biggest way to express how much you love him.
Here is a song that kind of explains what I mean:
Easy girls lose their ability to show love at the fullest
One day every (lucky) girl will meet someone who will change her world. They will eventually meet someone who is really special. They will meet someone who is “simply the best“, in Tina Turner’s words (now that I started with this song stuff…). And when this day comes, she will want to show this person how much he means to her. Now guess what? The sluts cannot make anyone feel really special. They already lost that one special way to show it. Easy girls cannot anymore show the guy he is special. Having sex with a slut simply lowers this guy to the same level as every other loser she has slept with.
Now, you may say that she can still tell him that now she “really means it”. Or that the others “didn’t mean anything”, and bla, bla, bla. Yes, she can say some words. But everyone knows that words are meaningless compared to actions. I guess this is the biggest “punishment” for the easy girls: They cannot express love as the normal girls anymore. They may even be able to love just as the other girls, but they won’t be able to express it anymore. To any guy.
Now, I cannot imagine something as bad as wanting to make someone feel special, show how important this person is in your life, how special this person is to you, how much this person means to you…. But not being able to do that.
“Whatever. I don’t care if he doesn’t feel special. This is just his own problem…”
It is a matter of fact that every single guy cares about how slutty his girl is for the reasons that I explained above. But it is also true that only some guys can afford to let a slut go and choose another girl. The other guys need to accept a slut anyway because they have no choice. Guess which guys can choose and which ones need to accept the slut? The hottest or the ugliest guys? The coolest or the boring ones? The best or the worst guys? Yes… The best ones choose. And you are right to guess that they don’t choose the sluts.
The guys who end up with a slut know what they are getting. Either they know or they think something along the lines of “all girls are the same anyway, why bother?”. In either case they know they don’t have any special girl. If the girl is not special, these guys have no incentive to work on the relationship: Ordinary girls are easily replaced. What’s the fuss? If the guy doesn’t feel he is getting a “good deal”, the relationship will suck. Just look at this research showing that ugly guys who “got a good deal” by scoring beautiful girls are much more likely to make these girls happy. So, the girls who think they are only making their future boyfriend sad by being a slut today, should think again: They are in fact hurting themselves. These girls end up in a bad relationship with a guy who also doesn’t value them. It is not that difficult to understand: If these girls don’t value themselves, who else will?
“By this logic, then slut-guys… cannot show love either! Ha!”
The guys, on the other hand, can have had sex with as many girls as they want, but they still keep their ability of making a girl feel special. This has to do with the fact that the girls know that the average guy offers sex to any ugly girl. So, it is not his sex offer that shows the girl she is important.
It is not like a guy stands on the bar in a club and random girls start to approach him offering sex. It is not that he chose that special girl among a huge number of other girls to finally say yes and have sex. Every girl knows that a guy’s choice for sex partners is not driven by how “special” the girl is. She can be ugly. She can be fat. She can be stupid. She can be boring. It doesn’t matter if it is only for sex.
Not surprisingly, girls in general feel loved by the attention that a guy gives to them. Guys can buy flowers, take the girl out, buy a diamond ring, talk to her, care about her, be there for her, marry her. All these things are meaningless for the guys compared to her decision of having sex with him. But they are very meaningful for the girls.
The same way that the girls choose to offer sex to someone special, the guys choose to offer attention/commitment to someone special. So, having sex with several girls does not have any impact on the guy’s ability to make a girl feel special.
The male equivalent of a slut
A guy who has sex with sluts doesn’t respect himself just as a slut doesn’t respect herself. The entire difference about men and women regarding sex is that normal girls choose the guys. The difference is in the value that one gives to the other. So the normal girls give something special to the guy when they have sex. What makes it special is not necessarily the feelings involved. It can be simply an acknowledgment that this guy is hot (hotter than the others) and “deserved” sex.
Sluts on the other hand give sex to any loser. So, there is really no merit for any guy to have sex with them. And then the same logic applies: If it is not because of the accomplishment, then why would a guy have sex with several different girls? It can only be because he enjoys a variety of vaginas. And the whole story about sluts is the same: For instance, ugly guys (may) need to accept this type of girl, etc. etc.
Just like girls obtaining sex from a guy simply means they have a vagina, a guy obtaining sex from a slut simply means that he had a penis… A man-slut is a guy who has sex with this type of girl. So, these guys are simply showing that they don’t respect themselves, just like the sluts don’t respect themselves.
It is not a double-standard afterwards, is it?
DocLovin 